Being Naresh
Just back from the movie 'Being Cyrus' and I must recommend it to one and all for its simple and effective story-telling. Movies apart, while on my way back, I was pondering upon the title of the movie. What it takes to be someone or something? Can we quantify it? Can I be someone and quantify it?
Okie, lemme try! Because I am nothing other than Naresh, I thought lemme think of what it takes and feels like 'Being Naresh'. Honestly, I feel we all grow till a certain time and then fit in everything else into that identity we have grown into in those times. The truest meaning of growth comes when we break these identities from time to time and discover and rediscover ourselves. Introspection probably pays more than seeing ourselves in the eyes of others. There are many aliases, but the real Naresh is something I dont have words to describe.
In that sense, does anyone really know what he/she is? How difficult or easy it is to be ourselves? I have always found it very easy and comfortable to be myself with very few persons and these are the persons I tag as 'Close Friends'. The others.... Probably its the case with everyone that we tend to take customisation a tad bit more seriously than it ought to be taken. We behave and reply to most of the people the way they want to listen us or want us to behave. We seldom be ourselves with people we faintly know. We actually meet people at a time, okie, these things are better explained with examples. We are comfortable at a different level with friends we met during school than with our contemporary friends. The comfort level ofcourse varies from person to person. I am all at ease with my college friends, but it may be otherwise for others. When with friends whom we left back in the lanes of time, we tend to fit ourselves into that identity which we garbed in those times. The reason might probably be that it is tough to get the person abreast with changes that occured in your life.
The only exception in such cases being again the 'Close Friends'. These are people who are a part and parcel of your daily life. These are people you share everything in your life with. So, when you meet them after a gap, as in Long Distance Relations, you can totally be at ease with yourself.
And when the groups you cater to or socialise with or whatever are sporadic and huge in number, each of those tends to associate you with some identity which you have been, and not necessarily what you are, at that time-stamp when you had left them.
So, if prudence prevails, we must make them aware of all the changes our lives have gone through hitherto from the time-stamp when we left them. This is ideal, but is it practical? Imagine friends you meet after 4-5 years and you know you are going to spend hardly 4-5 hours with them. So, what should be done? Give them the info of all those hardly interesting changes our lives have gone through or just get ourselves back into the mould which we were those 4-5 years back and while away those 4-5hours? I would prefer the second choice. You may accuse me of concealing myself, but I would see it as reminiscing and re-living myself to and identity that I was those good years back! And ofcourse, if it is someone whom you are not going to leave after that particular meeting it is apt to put them at par with changes in you and your life.
Okie, lemme try! Because I am nothing other than Naresh, I thought lemme think of what it takes and feels like 'Being Naresh'. Honestly, I feel we all grow till a certain time and then fit in everything else into that identity we have grown into in those times. The truest meaning of growth comes when we break these identities from time to time and discover and rediscover ourselves. Introspection probably pays more than seeing ourselves in the eyes of others. There are many aliases, but the real Naresh is something I dont have words to describe.
In that sense, does anyone really know what he/she is? How difficult or easy it is to be ourselves? I have always found it very easy and comfortable to be myself with very few persons and these are the persons I tag as 'Close Friends'. The others.... Probably its the case with everyone that we tend to take customisation a tad bit more seriously than it ought to be taken. We behave and reply to most of the people the way they want to listen us or want us to behave. We seldom be ourselves with people we faintly know. We actually meet people at a time, okie, these things are better explained with examples. We are comfortable at a different level with friends we met during school than with our contemporary friends. The comfort level ofcourse varies from person to person. I am all at ease with my college friends, but it may be otherwise for others. When with friends whom we left back in the lanes of time, we tend to fit ourselves into that identity which we garbed in those times. The reason might probably be that it is tough to get the person abreast with changes that occured in your life.
The only exception in such cases being again the 'Close Friends'. These are people who are a part and parcel of your daily life. These are people you share everything in your life with. So, when you meet them after a gap, as in Long Distance Relations, you can totally be at ease with yourself.
And when the groups you cater to or socialise with or whatever are sporadic and huge in number, each of those tends to associate you with some identity which you have been, and not necessarily what you are, at that time-stamp when you had left them.
So, if prudence prevails, we must make them aware of all the changes our lives have gone through hitherto from the time-stamp when we left them. This is ideal, but is it practical? Imagine friends you meet after 4-5 years and you know you are going to spend hardly 4-5 hours with them. So, what should be done? Give them the info of all those hardly interesting changes our lives have gone through or just get ourselves back into the mould which we were those 4-5 years back and while away those 4-5hours? I would prefer the second choice. You may accuse me of concealing myself, but I would see it as reminiscing and re-living myself to and identity that I was those good years back! And ofcourse, if it is someone whom you are not going to leave after that particular meeting it is apt to put them at par with changes in you and your life.
posted by Naresh @ 4:08 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
the only thing which is constant is change....
i found being cyrus complicated story telling of what could have been done simply.
well naresh i believe school frenz and college frenz are different because with school buddies we grow together we start to think together we imagine things around together so the extent of understandin is more. With college frends when we come we have all our notions formed already n we just try adjusting with each other initially. However with time we do get to understand and respect the person but still we are not personality wise clones.
"being me" its a vry dificult question probably i'll myself write a blog on tht :P
I thought with my head first then with my heart. Later even my knees could not come to the rescue. This is too profound to percolate through by top storey.
Anyway you are what the world perceives you as. In LDR's you are a totally different person because the opinion on the other side is totally unprejudiced and uninfluenced by personal experiences like working together or living together.
With close friends it's a totally different story. The comfort levels, the compromises and all routine stuff.
"to be Naresh" is everyone's dream :P
Being ourselves!! It is not really easy. Actually, no one is perfect. Everyone has several shortcomings and being oneself also means that turning a blind-eye to one's shortcomings. I may neglect my shortcomings or accept them but society won't and therefore being oneself is usually not possible.
Another reason why it is difficult to be oneself is the risk-averse mentality that our education system and our middle-class upbringing breeds in us.
Nothing much to worry about if one cannot be oneself in the society. The problem comes when one refused to be onself even when he is alone, entirely to himself. There is something wrong when we try to fool our conscience and then end up frustrated.
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