Arise, Awake and Stop Not...

.. till the goal is reached! So said Swami Vivekananda, and these have been my motivating hymns from childhood. As time fleets and dates draw closer, you start to feel pangs of pressure and tension in you. You start to feel if all the efforts you are putting in are enough to take you where you want to.
I am heavily bothered with how my efforts would help me envisage my dream. I am tensed, down and out, discouraged a moment and satisfied, sanguine and cheerful and confident the other. I still am unsure of the mapping between effort and result. Every night, after putting in my efforts, I have loads of pains to say and lots of questions to ask, ofcourse not in the technical realm but in personal realm. But, I don't find anyone who has the time to listen to someone suffocating under the pains of self.
What do you do when you feel everything is going haywire and everything is unpredictable? What do you do when everyone around you is in the same deep pressure which is in the air and is also like the air, can be felt but not seen. What do passengers of a sinking ship have to teach other?
I for myself have inferred just one thing from all the sweat and tension in every soul around here. When you don't know what to do and are desperate to perform, fight, fight as if fighting for life and fight as if there is no other day. And ya, fights come in all shapes and sizes. They are not just physical, they can be fought in books, on papers, in libraries and in minds. With mocks, with scores and with self! Fights seem to be omni-present all of a sudden!
My fight ensued a few days ago and the pressure is mounting each coming day. All I can do is Arise, Awake and Stop Not Till The Goal is Reached!
Probably, even if I don't make it, I will be free of any guilt of not putting in any efforts!
All The Best...