The Enigma

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Its all about Perception

Though I don't attach any significant importance to Valentines' Day, this Valentines Day has been a little different. A few of my friends did try their luck and a few of these few even made it. But, I feel is the love of a girl that important as we percieve it to be? If I had it my way, I would have written you instead of we in the previous statement, but I somehow didn't want to sound idealistic. I don't think girls hold that imoprtant place in a boy's life, at least not as imortant as the general perception is. That was the only reason why my life's first letter to a girl is still in my draw and hasn't reached her though it was sealed two days ago.
I was baffled by the way a few of my friends got attached to their so-called girl friends, rather loevrs. One of my friends was so depressed yesterday because a girl he liked for an year or more has refused to come out with him. I asked him if it was love and pat came the reply, No! Gawd, and what about me two years or more in the pipeline and the girl refuses to talk to me even, leave aside coming out.
I think guys(or rather girls even) should realise that your love for your lover(s0-called) is only a tiny part of the whole love you enjoy, share and can spread around. Your lover is a small entity entitled to your love. Just as small as a single bit in the Information SuperHighway. I hate to do this, but for better analogies, lover is as small as an entity as a single IP address in all the whole internet classes of IP addresses. Poor analogy, wasn't it? Anyway, I often wonder why people connect love and Valentines Day only with a lover. I feel your love encompasses to many others like mother, father, sister, a friend or anyone in need. Among all these, what importance does a girl hold?
But, guys just don't understand. They fail to understand the care and compassion a friend of the same sex has for them, but if a girl even knows his name, consider her a good friend, love and what not? There is one friend of mine who loved a girl, thought she loved him too, and now hates her. Why in the first place love a girl? It is the perception that having a girl is cool that leads a guy into this trap.
All this doesn't mean I am against love. I very much believe in a supreme spirit called love. It is something to be cherished, to be fought for, to be craved for. But, mind you, the love I am speaking is not just of a girl of your age, but anyone whom you care for. I feel a deep sense of pity for all those guys who feel to love is to love a girl of his age. I am in love, not with a girl of my age but with life, its charisma and its distinguishing potential for evolution.
I often wonder why my friends don't understand this and connect love only with a girl. I think its got something to do with their perception of love. An article in a paper today said that we should not try to control the whole of our brain or body. We should know what to control and what not to citing the analogy of a car wherein a person controls only the steer-wheel, not the whole car. Probably, its when guys try to control many things in themselves they are in such euphoric situation.
I think its when you realise standing through agony is the only way to enjoy pleasure that you tend to enjoy everything in life the way it ought to be. Light is everywhere, but why is the one at the end of a tunnel relished? Because it is the pain of darkness in the tunnel that elevates the joy of light outside it. If guys want something, they must realise it has its share of pains attached with it. Have Patience, maintain perseverance and you will one day find what you want. Love is no exception. Just stand through as adversities occur. Anyway this is all my perception.
Whatever it be, I think I can divide guys into three categories based on their perception towards love for a girl. The first kind believes physical attraction is love. It is the start and it is the end. I think they know nothing about love.
The second kind abstain from physical relationship. They mistake physical relationship for lust and thus lose out on a wonderful opportunity to share love. I want to say to all these guys that love and lust have nothing in common except the 'l' that starts each of them.
The third kind believe in chemistry in relationships. They believe an understanding and a certain chemistry is needed between the two to fall in love and thus attain higher levels of consciousness. They just believe that love is a supreme way to attain the power called God, if there is one.
I am in the third kind and on the lookout for individuals who share a common mind-set. Who knows there could be one, many or probably none. Its all about perception.

3 Comments:

At February 15, 2005 7:23 PM, Blogger Gururaj said...

Naresh, nice point there..but dont u realize that we do need someone who cares for us?? Someone who can stand by us...And most ppl here are not like that.This is what forces people into the run-after-a-girl thing coz ppl feel ..perhaps truly, that a girl friend can always be better company than people who keep jeering at every step we take. I know they are friends but ...I guess I do not realize constructive criticism.

Look at this. I go propose and there are about a 100 people all around me whole day asking about each adn every intricate detail and just lookin into my eyes and laughing their heads out. Love is somthing that needs to develop.Friendship has a huge wall. Once we can cross the wall,(I dont mean non-platonic love) We will feel real comfortable in the others company. BUt apparently here, no one has the time to just sit and chat . People r just too busy..
And hey, Happy Valentine's be..

 
At February 16, 2005 12:23 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

hey buddha,

nice thoughts there. but are you absolutely sure that all this is not the outpouring of a desolate and lonely soul, seeking to justify the absence of a give-and-take relationship with a member of teh opposite sex? i mean really, do u believe that a girl is not important at all?
i do agree that we tend to attach a lot of importance to females, probably more than is necessary, but don't you think that all this is the result of not having a girl-friend? i mean "grass is greener" and "sour grapes" both come together and we tend to think that either: 1)life will definitely be better once we have a loved one to share our every fibre of being with, or that 2) girls are a waste of time, not so important, and since i have no gf, al the better.

i, for myself, definitely identify wih 1. but are you sure you are not 2?

 
At February 16, 2005 12:24 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

nice thoughts there. but are you absolutely sure that all this is not the outpouring of a desolate and lonely soul, seeking to justify the absence of a give-and-take relationship with a member of teh opposite sex? i mean really, do u believe that a girl is not important at all?
i do agree that we tend to attach a lot of importance to females, probably more than is necessary, but don't you think that all this is the result of not having a girl-friend? i mean "grass is greener" and "sour grapes" both come together and we tend to think that either: 1)life will definitely be better once we have a loved one to share our every fibre of being with, or that 2) girls are a waste of time, not so important, and since i have no gf, al the better.

i, for myself, definitely identify wih 1. but are you sure you are not 2?

 

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