Clash

In the final lap of lapping up my graduation, here I am amidst lots of questions and perplexities, yet undeterred and as hoplessly lazy as ever. Though the external garb of having fun and whiling away time is intact, there is something, rather a lot of things, eating me away! I bet this is the scene with most of the guys around! Anyway, to each, his blog! So, let me pour out all my issue in my blog. Others can follow suit on their blogs.

Actually, as time is ticking away, I find no motivation to pursue my project nor any inclination to do anything seemingly productive. Of course, the pressure, both from peers and profs, compels me to act as if I was really working for the project. But, I can fool everyone around but not myself. Moreover, the project is not my concern. I am comfortable with whatever little progress it has made and am sanguine about passing out. What I am bothered about is life after that.

What to do? Rather, what not to do? How to set priorities? How to choose between my goals? To put personal or professional things first? What to give my relations and what to expect out of them? Sometimes, this is really very tough. In a relation, you always need to be aware of the other person's expectations. A friend may expect something else from you, but you may look at it as the other end of the spectrum.

Then, we have goals in life. To rush or not to rush for them? When pursuing something, how far do you need to keep other's expectations on you in mind? Can you exercise freewill everywhere? When we seek support, are we strong enough to lend some too? When we seek solace somewhere, can we be a solace to someone else? Is this relative?! All tricky questions, I know! But as life is, the show must go on! Questions must not take too much of our mindspace, they can take Google's webspace instead. Thats why I prefer puking them all out on this tiny little online abode of mine!

Today, after ages, I had been to a temple. It was peaceful, no doubt! I have a tiny little objection to the way we worship. Why the aartis, poojas and all? I prefer a peaceful place where you go, pray, sit in calm and come back! I never found any such back home. Luckily in most of North India as I assume, they do not perform too many poojas and temples are peaceful. Back to business, at the temple today which I visited for the first time in my four yeard here, I read about Dada Bhagwan. He is one Mr. A.M. Patel who, on one fateful evening in June, 1953, met god in Surat Railway Station. I dont know how much I believe in that, but the writing there floored me. He attained self-realisation, relinquished worldly pleasures, and attained nirvana after that rendezvous with god. He understood life, happiness, truth and spirituality. I am just waiting for one such encounter with something, divine or demonic, wise or otherwise, which can drive me to solve all my puzzles on life!